Name: Ian the DJ

Age: 25 honest
Hobbies: Golf golf golf golf golf and looking out for the campest Saturday night shirts ever made in the world
Best night out: Gotta be when I ponced off to Barnsley
Best hangover cure: Garlic bread and Star Trek
Most famous customer: Ian Wooooooosman and Jean Luc Picard
Best tip: It's perfectly simple, I just can't quite remember it. Ah well.
Most likely to say: Drinks off the dance floor, they're not real, and it's 2-1 to Barnsley. Oh, and I have 1 last bottle of bubbly to give away for the biggest pair of... Well that's enough of Ian, I think.